Dear Curtis Stone,
You are a big fat meanie. I stupidly let a little bit of my personal side come through on the last post, with regards to my feelings towards the great white shark; and you had to go and basically punch me in the face. Not basically. Maybe figuratively. Maybe photographically. Aquatically? I don’t know, I’m still reeling with hurt. What I do know is that after I professed my love/hate/fear relationship with the great white, you somehow managed to make sure that I see this:
What a beautiful wedding cake you say? How interesting! How innovative! How…what the hell is it? At first glance I thought it was crabmeat which in and of itself would be rude. I’m allergic to shellfish jerk!! And I don’t know how your mother raised you, but threatening someone with the possibility of anaphylactic shock is no laughing matter let me assure you. While I was calling the authorities to report this obvious death threat, I looked a little more closely at the cake, and realized that it’s not crab! You don’t want me dead! Wait…is that what I think it is? What the….
That’s right boys and girls. SLAUGHTERED GREAT WHITE SHARKS!!!!!
After I cleaned up the vomit and tears, I observed a moment of silence for the massacre before me. What makes it even more disgusting Curtis, is that the sharks are very small…like a baby shark would be…which means you endorse killing babies. Wow. I can’t speak any more of this, it’s too upsetting. So I’ll do the one thing that calms me down, which means I need to bake something.
How do you feel about a kangaroo themed cake?
-JR
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