Friday, February 19, 2010

Pet Peeves Make Horrible Pets


Dear Curtis Stone,

I’m sure you are perfect and never do anything annoying. But just in case, I thought I’d let you know some of my personal pet peeves; certain actions, sayings etc that really chap my hide. I figure that on the off chance that any of these apply to you, you can just stop doing them and I may hate you a little less.

1. People who pronounce the word “probably” like “probly”, or even worse…”prolly”. Seriously? Hey chick who just said “I’m really craving Italian food so I’m prolly gonna go eat at the Olive Garden”; I’m willing to bet that your mouth is capable of handling all kinds of things, try a three-syllable word once in a while.

2. Along the same lines as the pet peeve listed above is the very common mispronunciation of the word “supposedly”. Does everyone notice the sexy little “d” between the “e” and the “l”? You do? Good. Then under no circumstances should it ever, ever be pronounced “supposably”.

3. To the twenty-year old who just called me ma’am: Looking like Zac Ephron does not give you a free pass to call me names. I’m not a cougar, I don’t want to take you home and make you my boy-toy; you look like an embryo to me. In fact, I’m convinced that whatever you’re doing with your hair is just going to look like a cheap toupee in about 5 years. (I’m also speaking to you Justin Bieber.)

-I’m starting to get highly agitated just thinking about all of this, so let’s wrap this up with one of my all-time faves.

4. To all of you out there (skateboarders and snowboarders excluded, they all have a firm grasp on this concept), to do a complete 180 means to do the opposite of what you are currently doing. It can be a major life change or the simple act of turning around (see: about-face). If misused though, and the phrase “do a complete 360” is instead spoken; then spin around in a circle until you fall over because I have no use for you.


Namaste my dear,

JR

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