Dear Curtis Stone,I’m pretty sure I read somewhere that you love to breed bobcats, which would totally explain the headline I just saw on my local newspaper’s website….
Bobcat Captured In Downtown Houston
Bobcat Found In Parking Garage
How could you? Look, come after me if you want; I think we both know who would win that battle anyway. But releasing bobcats into parking garages throughout the 4th largest city in the United States? That’s a bit excessive, even for you. I mean, on one hand it’s not like your bad-ass enough to release an actual lion or anything, but that’s just how an evil genius like you operates isn’t it Curtis? You don’t pull out the big guns, or cats rather; instead you release a mammal that may appear to be a normal house cat to the untrained eye. So that the unlucky individual who stupidly skipped school on “Let’s Learn About Bobcats” day would no doubt try and pet the harmless kitty; the massacre that would then unfold would be their fault, not yours. Maybe next time you should just throw a friendly great white into my grandma's swimming pool?
Well played Mr. Stone, well played.
-JR
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